Today, the National Football League handed down its 101st suspension of the 2014 preseason. Arizona Cardinals linebacker Daryl Washington was levied with a one-year suspension on the basis of having fun. Since 2012, the NFL has made a point of cracking down on players enjoying themselves, calling such enjoyment a “risk to themselves and to their fellow players.” Though Washington is appealing the suspension, it is expected that his appeal, like the 100 others before him, will be dismissed.

The first player suspended before the start of the NFL was Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning, who was caught at the Broncos’ practice facility nodding his head while listening to his iPod.

“It is of the utmost importance that we make sure players are not enjoying themselves,” NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell stated in an interview. “Players who are having fun are dangerous. These players increase the risk of game-related injuries. In order to prevent this, we must keep all players as miserable as possible.”

During the 2013 preseason, a total of 78 players were suspended. At the end of the 2014 preseason, 101 players is the largest number of players suspended in a single season.

“I feel sorry for him, I really do,” said Cardinals coach Bruce Arians. “In fact, I’m miserable. I’m so unhappy. I’m just going to sit here and wallow in my misery if that’s okay with you.”

Following the rash of suspensions, the NFL has re-structured its salary cup rules in order to allow teams to hire the most depressed player they can possibly get.

UPDATE: After this article was written, Buffalo Bills kicker Scott Chandler was suspended for smiling while eating a doughnut.